Downsizing, p.17
Downsizing, page 17
Maxine examined the effect of the bangle against her skin and knew she ought to stand firm in her refusal. It was far too expensive. But the hopeful expression in his eye, his determination to salve his conscience by spending too much money on her, was a compelling combination. She’d be leaving Colebrook soon and would be able to take a more tangible reminder of him with her this time.
“Thank you, Noah,” she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
“My pleasure, sweetheart.”
Their food arrived, but Noah didn’t appear to have any more appetite than she did. He toyed with his meal, frequently looking up at her. Neither of them said anything, and the tension between them became increasingly brittle. Finally Maxine pushed her plate aside.
“You wanted to talk to me, Noah. What about?”
He followed her example and gave up on his food. “About what happened twelve years ago. Max,” he said, reaching for her hand. “There hasn’t been a day since when I haven’t thought about you, agonizing about how betrayed you must have felt.”
She didn’t know how to answer him and so concentrated her eyes on the table between them, saying nothing.
“I knew how insecure you were, and how especially badly you’d been treated by Cassie. If it had been anyone else, I dare say you wouldn’t have run away. But her.” He dropped his head and shook it from side to side. “I called on you that morning, but no one answered the door, or the phone. I was beside myself with anger when I learned that Cassie had been to see you.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Noah. Let’s not talk about it.”
“No, we need to clear the air. Please, Max, let me say this.”
She sighed heavily and nodded. “All right, then.”
“When I calmed down I assumed you’d run away because she’d indicated that we’d been having a long-standing affair. Am I right?”
“Yes.”
“It wasn’t true, you must believe that. It was just once.” He flashed a sheepish smile. “You know what I used to be like when it was offered to me on a plate. That’s what I wanted to explain. But you wouldn’t take my calls and sent my letter back unopened. Not that I could blame you for that. So I decided to wait until Christmas. You were bound to come home, and I’d tell you face to face.” He looked up at her, a haunted expression in his eye. “But you didn’t come back, and I knew then that you never would. That was to be my punishment, for letting you down so badly. I’d have to live through every day thinking you hated me for deceiving you.”
“Noah, it doesn’t matter.”
“I tortured myself trying to imagine what you must think of me.”
“I did think at first that you’d been seeing Cassie,” she admitted when she realized he wasn’t about to let the subject drop. “But I soon found out the truth.”
“You did? When?”
“On the same afternoon that you got married.”
He looked incredulous. “How?”
“Rachel rang me in Cambridge. I know you only saw Cassie the once, when you went to cut the grass.” She looked away from him, unable to bear his close scrutiny. “For what it’s worth I knew you wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the place if you’d thought there was any danger of her being there.”
“I’m glad you knew,” he said, letting out along breath. “But I don’t understand how Rachel could have told you that.”
“Because Cassie bribed Rachel to get Joey out of the way. She offered her the catering contract at the tennis club if she agreed. She told Rachel she just wanted the opportunity to get you on your own and have a bit of fun.” Maxine bit her lip, straining to keep her feelings in check. “Only Cassie could manage to get herself pregnant from one casual encounter.”
“Why didn’t Rachel tell me herself?”
“Don’t blame her. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to tell you hundreds of times, but seeing how determined you were to go through with the wedding, she didn’t see what good it would do. She was delighted when I asked her this morning if I could tell you. It’s been on her conscience, you see.” Maxine sighed. “I’d made the mistake of telling Cassie when we were still at school how you felt about children. Rachel knew too. So even if you’d known you’d been tricked, it wouldn’t have changed anything, would it?”
Noah shook his head. “No, I don’t suppose it would.” His smile was meltingly gentle. “God, Max, you’ve no idea how much better I feel, knowing you didn’t hate me for all those years.”
“No, Noah,” she said. “I certainly didn’t hate you, not once I knew you’d been manipulated. But I knew it wouldn’t be sensible to come back, so like you, I immersed myself in my work and tried to put it all behind me.”
She forced herself to offer him a cheerful grin when all she really wanted to do was collapse against his shoulder and feel his arms closing around her.
“Okay,” she said briskly. “We’ve bared our souls. Now let’s talk about something else.”
“You still haven’t told me why you’ve come back now.”
“Because I’m out of work.” She explained about McFee and how whatever she did to prove herself a better lawyer was always going to be eclipsed by his family connections. Then she told him about her disinclination to sleep with her boss.
“It’s funny,” she said reflectively, “but I always used to think that if only I was slimmer everything in my life would be all right. I didn’t realize until it happened that it would just open up a whole new set of problems.”
“Who is this McFee bloke, and where can I find him?” Noah asked, scowling. “I’m going to kill him, slowly and painfully.”
She laughed. “There’s no need for such drastic measures. Funny as it seems, I’m glad to be out of it. And I had the last laugh by getting a glowing reference and a substantial pay-off.”
“Clever girl!” He grinned. “So what will you do now? Look for another job in the city?”
“No, city life’s not for me. I loved it to begin with, but the novelty’s worn off. I’m thinking of something a little less high-key, where I might be of direct help to people who need me.”
“Got anything in mind?”
“Actually, yes. I had a call from Graham Spiller the other day.” She noticed Noah’s expression darken. “I had lunch with him in London.”
“Everyone seems to have been in touch with you recently, except me. How did Spiller know where you were, and what did he want? Sorry.” His eyes darkened, making him appear more angry than sorry. “I know it’s none of my business, but Spiller and I have a history, and I don’t like the thought of him manipulating you.”
“I have a history with Spiller, too. Don’t worry, I won’t allow him to use me.”
Noah smiled. “Glad to hear it.”
“Charles told him where to find me. And what he wanted was to see if I’d like to go into partnership with him here in Colebrook now that his father’s retiring.”
Noah’s angry frown evaporated. “And what did you tell him?”
“That I’d think about it.”
“Did Charles know about your resignation, then?”
“Yes, but Graham doesn’t, nor does anyone else at the moment, except you. I was due to have dinner with Charles on the night I had it out with John, but couldn’t face the company. He turned up at my flat and got it all out of me. Ten days later Graham called.” Maxine smiled. “Charles works in mysterious ways.”
“That he does, but I’ve never known him to do anything without a reason. I wonder what he thinks he’s going to achieve this time.”
“Yes, I’ve been pondering on that one, too.”
“Anyway, what are you going to do about Spiller’s offer?”
“I said I’d come back to Colebrook and see how I felt when I got here, but I’ve already decided that I’m not going to take him up on it.”
His face fell. “Why not?”
She met his gaze and held it. “I think you know the answer to that one. I thought it might be possible, but it isn’t. My presence here can only cause problems for everyone.”
“Don’t make a decision yet, Max. You said you were going to stay for two weeks. Use them and see how you feel after that time.” He offered her that beseeching, lost puppy expression that so melted her heart. “Do you have the money to buy into the partnership?”
“Probably. I have my golden parachute, and also a flat in The Barbican. It’s quadrupled in value, and even after I repay the mortgage they’ll be plenty of equity.”
“If you don’t have enough, I’ll help you.” His face was alight with enthusiasm. “Max, with your experience you’d rake clients in. And there’s something else. Spiller’s been after my business for years. If you were to go in with him I’d transfer it all to you, provided he had no access to it, of course.”
Maxine opened her eyes wide. “That’s kind of you, Noah, but it’s not a good idea.”
He took her hand, running his fingers down the length of hers. “I know it won’t be easy, Max, but I think if you leave me again I’ll crack up altogether.”
She snatched her hand away. “That’s precisely what I mean! It wouldn’t work. I saw your face yesterday when I said I had a male friend coming to stay.”
“I’ll get used to it. God, looking at you the way you are now I can hardly pretend you won’t attract male attention. But I promise I won’t interfere. I just don’t want you to run away again.”
“Now you’re just being melodramatic.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He sighed and shifted his position. “I’m not being fair, putting you on the spot like this, I know that. It’s just that my life’s such a goddamed mess, and having found you again I don’t think I can bear the thought of letting you go.”
“Noah, I—”
“You’ve seen how things stand between Cassie and me?”
“You’ve put up with it for twelve years.”
“Yeah, but it’s getting worse.”
“They why did you have another child?”
Noah’s expression hardened. “I went home unexpectedly one day, and found she’d left the boys on their own while she went to the hairdressers. I was ready to kill her for her selfishness. Naturally, she put the blame on someone else, pretending the babysitter was supposed to have arrived five minutes after she left, but I knew it was a lie. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to leaving her. For the first time I felt the kids might be better off without two full-time parents and was convinced I’d be able to get custody of them. She obviously picked up on my mood and…well, that’s how Amy came about.”
“Oh, Noah, she used the same ploy twice?” Her heart went out to him, and this time it was her that reached for his hand.
“Yeah, but it was my own fault.” He turned her hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist. “After Billy, we decided not to have any more kids and she said she’d get her tubes tied. I was stupid enough to believe that she’d done it. Of course, when she got pregnant with Amy she blamed it on inept surgery. Nothing is ever Cassie’s fault,” he said with a sardonic lift of his brows. “But I knew I couldn’t leave her with a baby. God alone knows what she might have done to the poor mite. The night when she told me she was pregnant again was when I first emailed you. I’d never felt the need of you more, and somehow I knew you’d pick up on that.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m not looking for pity. It’s my own stupid fault, I know that. It’s just that I can’t bear to think of you drifting out of my life for another twelve years.” He smiled into her eyes. “God, when I think how arrogant I was when we were kids; what a selfish goon I was. I can’t imagine why you put up with it.”
She offered him a faint smile. “Nor can I, now that you mention it.”
“I’m not trying to influence your decision by dragging up the past. But, if for the sake of argument you did decide to stay, where would you live?”
“Well, I’m not sure. I hadn’t given it any thought, but definitely not with my mother.”
“Well, it just so happens that one of my duplexes down by the river is still available.” He paused. “The one on the end, with front and side views of the river and that old oak tree.”
“Noah, I’m warning you! Don’t go there.”
“Just thought I’d mention it,” he said, grinning. “But why don’t we stop on the way back, since we’ll be going directly past the site, and I’ll show it to you.”
“Oh, all right then. How did you get into building from scratch, by the way? You’re only thirty-one.”
“That’s down to my investors, particularly Charles, and Kitty Watts—a local lady of independent means. They have faith in me, and persuaded some of their friends to take a chance. The upside is that I get to do more ambitious projects. The downside is all the meetings with accountants, architects, and all the partners I’ve had to take on board to get my hands on their dosh.”
“Well, you get to use those brains of yours after all. How bad can that be?”
“Come on, let’s go. I’ll show you that duplex before you change your mind. Oh and, Max,” he said, as they headed toward their cars. “Can I ask you a big favor?”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Well, you can certainly ask, I suppose.”
“I’m collecting Billy’s dog this afternoon, and need somewhere to hide it until tomorrow. I don’t suppose you’d—”
“Of course I will. Anything for Billy.”
Chapter Seventeen
Graham escorted his departing client to the door.
“Anything urgent?” he asked his secretary, flipping through the message slips she handed to him as he paused at her desk.
“No, but Mrs. Turner-Fenwick has called three times. She sounded upset.”
“Thank you, Joyce,” he said with a tight smile of satisfaction. “If she calls again please tell her I’m still engaged.”
Graham closed his office door behind him. It was almost lunch time. He’d put Cassie out of her misery soon, but first he needed to know what Maxine had been doing all the morning. His investigator answered his mobile on the first ring.
“They’re having lunch together in the garden of The King’s Arms on Winchester Road,” he said, not bothering with any preamble. “Lots of hand-holding, eye contact, and soul searching going on from the looks of things.”
“I see. Anything else I should know about?”
“Yeah, Fenwick went into the jewelers in town this morning.”
“Did he indeed? Any idea what he bought?”
“An expensive diamond bangle. My partner followed him into the shop and saw the whole transaction. He gave it to the Small woman just now.”
“Thanks very much, Mr. Peters. Keep on them, and let me know what else happens.”
As soon as Graham disconnected he pressed the speed dial button that connected him to Cassie’s number. She answered straightaway.
“Graham, thank God! Where have you been?” She sounded near-hysterical. “I’ve been trying to reach you since last night.”
“And good morning to you too, Cassie. How are you?
“At my wits end, since you ask, and you haven’t even bothered to return my calls.”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking.”
“There’s no need to be sarcastic.” She breathed heavily down the line. “Where are you? I need to see you straightaway.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Just hurry!”
Ten minutes later Graham knocked at her door. Cassie answered it wearing a pretty dress, obviously having tidied herself up for his benefit. No amount of makeup could completely conceal the dark circles under her eyes or the wild expression reflected in them. Her hands trembled as Graham grasped them, and he could smell alcohol on her breath when he brushed her lips with his own.
“Hi.” He followed her into the living room. “Is something wrong?
“What a stupid question! Why else would I need you so urgently?”
Graham fixed her with a penetrating gaze. “Why, indeed?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Belatedly she appeared to realize that she might have pushed him too far, alienating the only person who would endure her mercurial temperament and slavish devotion to her sod of a husband without complaint. “Don’t take any notice of me, I’m not myself today. My whole life’s unraveling, and if you can’t help me I don’t know what I’ll do.”
He took a chair opposite hers and frowned. “That sounds rather dramatic.” He took his time to settle into a more comfortable position, crossing one leg over the other, remaining implacably calm in the face of her growing hysteria. “You’d better tell me what’s upset you this time.”
“It’s Maxine.” Cassie let out a long sigh. “She’s back in Colebrook.”
“Ah, yes. Someone mentioned to me that she’d been seen.”
“So, if you knew that, why didn’t you answer my calls? You must have known I’d need you.”
“Cassie, has it ever occurred to you that I have a life of my own?”
“But this is different! It’s Maxine. She’s lost tons of weight, looks fantastic, and Noah appears besotted with her.”
“Really?” Graham lifted his brows. “And what do you imagine I can do about that?”
“Well, I don’t know, something, anything.” Cassie waved her arms about wildly. “Find out why she’s here and how long she intends to stay.”
“Didn’t you ask her those questions yourself?”
“Yes, but she said she didn’t know.”
Graham spread his hands. “Well then, how am I supposed to find out?
“Oh, she’ll probably tell you if you turn on the charm. She seems to like male company. She even has my father eating out of her hand.” Cassie shuddered. “The way he looks at her. It’s disgusting. But, anyway, with me I felt she was holding back, just to be spiteful. Goodness knows why, when I was always such a good friend to her.” Cassie turned toward Graham, her face distraught. “But she can’t stay here, she just can’t! She’ll spoil everything.”
A wail came from the baby monitor.
